Askhole – a person who constantly asks for you advice, yet always does the oppisite.

Saul Palmetto – Jewish Mob Boss

Testeroni – the San Francisco treat

Ass Rack

Green Movement

The only difference between artistic and autistic is U.

Pacific Rim Job

Swampy Loins

Me and You and a Line Called Skew

Dork Nob

Rogue Anus – It’ll grow hair on your ass

Billy Graham, cracker

Famous Anus Star Cookies

Graphite Novel

Love – It’s a game of inches

Homo Erectus

Prompt and Circumcised

Put your mouth where my money is.

For Whom the Trolls Bellow


Dove 1: Hey man, what do you think about this Miles Davis solo?
Dove 2: Coo.

Little Opium Annie

Clowndyke Bar

I was accused of having no ambition by my girlfriend. I reminded her that I’ve always had a passion for being a third responder.

My wife just got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh and if you hold your ear up to it you can smell the ocean.

Bumpstock Music Festival

Alotta Anus Morrisette

Sweat Tart

Hick Cop

I was raised in a matriarchal family. Mom was a cunt and Dad was a pussy…












The only time ‘incorrectly’ is spelled correctly is when it’s spelled ‘incorrectly’.
On the other hand, the only time ‘incorrectly’ isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.

Bed Credit

Mind fuck- Gary Newman is older than Gary Oldman












A new drug for Tourettes Syndrome patients


I farted so hard it rerouted my colon.

She’s hitting on all cavities

Graven Homage

Hug Repellent

Tikela Mockingbird – Tip O’ the Pen to Sandra

Mounted and Stuffed

Turban Power

Ass Rick – Cantonese Anilingus







If Handel was a Mexican – Halle-peno! Halle-peno! Halle-peno!

Brown Friday

Aunty Social Medea






Fuckuppedness  – describing one’s ability to totally screw something up

Behind-amundo – Fonzie’s fave position

God Liver Oil – good for what ails you

Nip and Tuck – gender reassignment specialists

Old school law firm- Hunt & Peck

Booty & the Beast

Bats in the Beltway

Flee Weary – Japanese Orca Movie

James Bond – “Fine adhesives for your every need”

Heir Repugnant







Mamela Anderson

Are you right brained or wrong brained?

Circle Twerk – being jerked around by a group of women.

Puppies of a Lesser Dog

Who let the bitches out?

Obtuse & Acute – Attorneys at Law: “We always got an angle.”

Second Tear

I ate the hole thing.

There may be no “I” in team, but “U” are in fuck up twice.

Vanilla Rice – American-Asian Rapper

Beyond say, what?

Fungi and Fungal – Husband and Wife clown act

C4PO  – Next generation android with rage issues

Dicksters Without Borders

Carrion Luggage

From a recent movie review, “Like a lot of drinkers she could dance better than she could stand.”

San Anus – suburb of Gomorrah

Jews for Jesus expanded;

  • Pedophiles for Jesus
  • Athiests for Jesus
  • Jesus’ for Jesus
  • Whores for Jesus
  • Punks for Jesus

Bumper Car Drive-in


Looks like KY has some competition…








Glutton Free


Byu Tane – Self immolating monk















Dark Inc. – Tatto Joint

The Running of the Ho’s

What’s the difference between a bullshitter and a gay bullshitter?
A bullshitter starts his story with “…so I came across this guy…”,  the gay bullshitter ends his story the same way.

Come on everybody… let’s get up and give a big hand to…. Mr Bate Handcock

Some people are HIV positive. Others are HIV negative. I’m HIV neutral

Ass-end to the throne












Eat, Prey, Lust

Deaf Melon-Sculptor brother of Blind Melon


Wonderbra Woman – New Superhero












Fartsy- the quadraplegic albino with uncontrollable gas

Humper- the spastic dog who loves Viagra

South American Rag Picker – new reality show

Codger Rugburn

Pump and Sir Cumstains

We were like a magnet with two negative poles

Lick it and Stick it – Song Title

Spongeworthy Hotpants

A Sale of Two Titties

Cuntswello – Mexican maid in high demand

Cum Poseur – porn star

Van Hozer – Won NASCAR rookie of the year five years running!

She was like electricity to a dead frogs leg

Carpe Tunnel – Latin for ‘seize the butthole’

Oral may make your day
But anal makes your hole weak

Hostess Cupballs

A Wing and Gruyère

Kung Pao Chitlins

Vapid and Afraid



Johnson & Johnson – Porn Film

Hoga – Yoga for Ho’s


Won Ton Ho

Dark Doesn’t Matter

Leddy Wind – Professional Eater, also known as “The Fartress”

Prophets are going down…

Rick the Japper – Never apprehended Tokyo serial killer


Chewbutta – Chewbacca’s gay brother.



Ed Nauseam – Aggravating comedian

The Bees Niece

Dickie Chins – Gay Asian gangster

I’m emotional as fuck right now…

How can Japans ultimate icon NOT be known as Godzirra?

A tale of two presidents:
Fartin’ Through Silk Shorts – The Donald Trump Story
Shittin’ in Tall Cotton – The Barack Obama Story

Bride: I do
Groom: I do
Priest: I now pronounce you dodo’s in deep doo doo

Adipshit Hotline

Clove & Hooves – Hookah dude ranch

Chris Chin – Chinese Evangelist

Inspect her gadget

Dragon Droppings

Fellatio Alger


Tire fire funeral pyre

Scroto Bello

Proposed names for a new app that will provide the location of the closest prostitute based on your current GPS.

  • Near Miss
  • Whore Around
  • Poon Pal

I applied for a job but was turned down. I misspelled “detail oriented” on my resume.

Coytus Interuptus – Forgotten Roman Emperor

Help! I’ve fallen in love and I can’t get it up.

The Don de Trumphe

Cay Cay Cakes – Racist Southern Bakery

Ben d’Hur Over – porn remake of Ben Hur


Deviated Rectum

Real O’clock

Candidate for Australian product placement: Randy Wipes

Doesn’t it seem strange that Siegfried and Roy are orange and their tigers are white?

New Cookbook – Postules, Nodules and Nodes –  Chinese Dumplings on the Cheap

Ain’t got a cherry
That ain’t no sin
She’s still got the box
That the cherry come in. -(From Westworld- Episode 101)





The Big Bang Gang

Tounge to Taint

Billy Scrotes Guff

Bitches Without Boundaries

Dick and Shane – A gay primer

Jack! You Late?

I thought it was the meds,
Turned out to be the Feds

The Internet is a Stalker

Castrati Frustrati – Second chair at the Vienna Boys Choir

Egg McFuckin


In the tradition of Mad Magazine, here’s some album covers we’d like to see












I thought about masturbating last night…it turned out to be a stroke of genius – Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

The Gelded Age


New gay gothic novel










Newly discovered Shakespeare play – Pistonia and Cylindrica – A combustible mix of love and flatulence

Bleeders, Breeders & Bleaters  (Scottish Attorneys at Law)

Farm to Table to Toilet – Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

Vújà de – An intense sense that something has never happened before.

Just approved by the FDA – USELESSA  (Call your Dr. If you experience shortness of dick)

If you ever go to prison I will stick up for you. Here’s some soap.

I’m making a lisp and checking it twithe

I can’t believe I ate the hole thing

Incan Ink – Tat Parlor

Baitmon – Jamaican Superhero

Tell-tale fart

Hillary Rodham Clinton- There’s not much difference between HRC and RCH

The Growlers (A drinking group with a music problem)

Electoral Dysfunction


New Gothic Novel
















It’s the Donald- Duck!

Four Fat Fucks and a Funeral


It had to happen sooner or later…
















Cleenis Clock – Boxing Phenom

Variations on a Theme:

  • Skeevesport
  • The Skeevie Jeevies
  • Skeeve Doubt
  • Green Skeeves
  • Bringing in the Skeeves

I tried to get close to her. I got a foothold but I never got an asshold.

Vin Scullyousis

Hell and Bowel

Brace for Fudgepact

Icky Woodcock

Broken Winds: The Joey Chestnut Story

Bitchin’ Cachet

Sex Transvester Radio

Punk U Asian

Mama Skunk

Whacks ‘n’ Wayne

I got me a line
And I got me a pole
I’m comin’ down
To your fishin’ hole…Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

Upward Facing Bitch


















The only person I can’t live without is me…Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

Boardinghouses Without Boarders

Hottie Tubbies

Most people are concerned more about the frame than the picture. Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

Fly in the Reefer

Ten Untempered Seconds






Pregnant Pause

Stink, Stank, Stunk

Lust is a Many Splintered Thing

Fucks Capacitor

Slickery Dickery Cock

The politically correct movement has demanded that Dick Van Dyke should henceforth be called Penis Van Lesbian

Hu Man Bang


Bleeders, Breeders & Bleaters

Daily Inbred















The Hogs Bison Particle

She’s gotta a Chip in Her Halo.

You can re-lie on me.

Instead of adding any more letters to LGBT (the latest being LGBTTTQQIAA) let’s just make it LBGT-WTF!

Pleasure Vessel

Butt Turd Toast

Irritable Girl Syndrome

The .god files

Jew Lies Matter

Condom Mints

Phlegm Phlagm Magn

Clabbered MILF

Mūst Angz Ali

Penile to Mate – Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner

Hamas X Yuelle – Palestinian Fag

Eternal darn-ation in Heck is what happens when you don’t believe in Gosh.

Naked and A Freak

Heard on TV, “it was really surreal.”

Urine deep shit

Hard-on Yourself

Poke a man

Butt ‘n Hole

Dumb Fuck Egypt

Clown Shoe Bomber

Phil Esteen – Pro Wrestler

Hard Licker

Full Frontal Jack-it

Stool Bus (Honey Bucket Truck)

Erin go braless – Irish Holiday

Hip Displeasure


Special Eunuch’s Victim

Thighs Matters

Bilbo’s Birkenstock Boutique

D’Kenya: A cumming of age novel
















Low Dose Assburn

Baby Got Backstory


How to Apply Sunscreen
Ever been at the beach and have your guy friends ask you to apply sunscreen to their back? Talk about feeling gay! It’s an awkward situation so why not turn it into something fun!
The next time you’re with a group of your buddies at the beach or the pool and one of them asks you to put sunscreen on their back, have a little fun with it. Say “OK, why don’t you lay down on the lounge chair?”
Once they’re prone, stand and straddle them and then proceed to make sounds like you’re jacking off while you squirt the sunscreen on their back. Be sure to squirt a little in their hair for added effect.


Shithéad O’Connor


I stink, therefore I yam what I yam. (Popeye/Cartesian mashup)

A Most Anus Crime

Self Flagellating Seamen

Black Size Matters

 Mr. Rogers Hood – Can you say Home Slice? Sure you can.
Parole without Life
Spiro Keats (Greek/English Poet / Social Disease)
The Cliterati
Poopy-Time fun shapes – This is an actual product? WTF!

















Final album title by Prince – Purple Casket

Fart Wisdom – I once squeezed off a real wet one. A friend of mine said, “Man, that’s gonna itch when it dries.”

Bi Nana and other fruits

Asspickers Syndrome

 My local soulless bank held a contest for a new slogan. They wanted the slogan to be zen-like. I submitted this- “Our Money is Bliss” (pronounced “Harmony is bliss”)

Haole luau ya’ll

Noel Pablo Englese
What Had Goth Rot
Scoff Broadway

Butt Inbreder


A couple of quotes from Bill Maher –
“the Republicans want a token black in the White House, not a black tokin’ in the White House.
Talking about Sarah Palin being chosen by John McCain for Vice President- “Perhaps the least qualified public servant since Caligula nominated his horse for the Senate.”


Worth it in the End

Bad Penne

Tight Acid

The S’mackahos, The Arape-a-ho (2 Newly  discovered Native American/Afro American tribes)

Morrie “Eel” Stein


There’s a vas deferens between peeing and coming.

Running the Gaunt Slut

Close Hoarse

“Fukinelle” – The New British Viagra

“You say Snohomish, I say Samamish, Let’s kill the whole tribe off…”

Great blogs aren’t written, they are rewritten

Can you teach an old god new tricks?

What is the sound of Jesus coming?



















Camel Tow (Business Name)

Mai Johnson (Vietnamese Transvestite)


Miss Spelt

Home Two Turd

Worst name ever for an African-American business- Afro Engineering Corp.

The Drunkin’ Shuffle

Ganja Ganglia

Phluffer the Flaccid Dragon

Nocturdal – The Night Shitter (Marvels Latest)

Mikelle Bolt-on (Lesbian Stripper)

I wouldn’t be caught DEAD with a necrophiliac!

Me so corny


Vote for Hillary- She’ll bring a broad perspective to the presidency….

Self Staining Briefs


This animated video is guaranteed to drive you nuts- the Burpy-burp song is taking America by storm! (one fool at a time)


Tiers of a Human Being

Roy L, Payne & Diaz (British/Spanish attorneys)

I Saw, I Conquered, I Came. (Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner)

Hard On Her Heels

I know her like the front of my hand. (Tip o’ the pen to D. Meaner)

I’m not looking for a girl who will bend over backward to please me, I’m looking for a girl who will bend over forward!

En v’ elope

Caught between a cock and hard place.

I won’t answer the phone while I’m on the shitter in a public bathroom. I think it is classless. As far as I’m concerned I am incommode-icado

Philup Koont Witt-Dix  (Best Selling Author)

I was born into old money- Gramma always slipped me five dollars from her purse.

I was watching a detective show where some clown implants a chip into his wife so he can track her whereabouts. She is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act. The detectives discover the chip, figure out what it’s for, and who implanted it. One of the detectives says, “Wow, he invented a Ho-Jack”

The Dick Lisperer – Gay best seller

Who Trump’s the Trump

Did you hear that Lorena Bobbit was killed in a car accident? Some dick cut her off.

Fear of being stuck in a chimney? Santaclaustraphobia


Jour Azzis a Park

When Dinah Shores ruled the Earth

Don’t you love how the phrase “Eating out a fat chick” rolls off the tongue?

Fukenal (Fertility drug)

Stupitor (special needs super hero)

They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.

In Tacoma you don’t lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn.

Lazlo, The Well Hungarian

“Enormously thin”  What the hell does that even mean?

I was as politically correct as I could fuckin’ be. (overheard in the halls of Boeing)

Celebrity Wife Swab (Reality Show)

There’s no pleasing my Mom. She told me to act like a Christian so I told some bum to ‘get a job’, ripped off some elderly folks on a fixed income and  butt-fucked a little kid. Now she’s mad at me! Geez I was only following the examples of a conservative talk show host, a TV evangelist and a catholic priest……

The New York Yankees honored Boston after the Marathon bombings at a home game in the Bronx. One Red Sox fan was heard to say, “I hate them even more for making me hate them less.” (Tip o’ the pen to Gerry M. for this submittal)

But can she hum the Star-Spangled Banner?

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that….

Yeast Mode – Finalist in Reality TV Bakers Competition

Cribbage without Boarders

Unergy – An interaction that is less than the sum of its parts.
Sin Orgy – An interaction that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Tongue in’ Mothers-in-law

Munchkin in a Box

Goober Natorial

Morning, Noon, and Nightwood

I’ve been ruminating a lot lately… about digestion.

Parenthetic (Santa) Clause

God is my Co-Conspiritor (Bumper Sticker)

Cunt Ages

From the Vietnamese phone book?   ve, Lo

She boxed my jaw…so I jawed her box.

Genitorial Services

Edie I. Mean

Based on what is coming out of your mouth, there’s no telling what’s been in it.

Sick Raper Pissers

He Shuffles to a Different Drummer

Ricin Beans

Who is vetting the vets?

Class? You wouldn’t know class if a gristled hunk of hemorroid meat flew into your mouth!

Mascular Degeneration

When do they go from wholesome to some hole?

Don’t shoot the enema ’till you see the brown of their eye.

When I make love to her it’s the only time I feel hole.

When you want to convey false sadness say….  “It’s enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.”

Prince Charles described his recent hemorrhoid as “a royal pain in the ass”———-

You have a penchant for the trenchant…

Until Drink Do Us Part

My erections are on the upswing

Social media site for lesbians: Clitter (or Twatter)

Cunt Troll Freak

You smell like donated clothing.

Cunt Cock Shun

Knot Won Read Scent

Porn Score and Seven Years Ago

The Viagran

Obama Sin Laden

Disingenuous Peoples Day

Armed and Amorous

I Got Lapses in my Synapses

Food Stamp Asses

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Clever Funny Wordplay – Bizarre Word Bazaar

3 thoughts on ““Just sayin” and other stupid ideas

  1. Really interesting but also strange article.. This is a new way of posting, something I have never seen before, but really cool.

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